Beginning

Beginning or actually starting something is hard for me to do. I need to psych myself up for it. Its's not that I won't try, I totally will, I just get distracted along the way or I think I deserve a break because I opened the page. Me sitting down to write this is an example, I opened this page twenty minutes ago, twenty minutes before I actually started writing. I even had the intention of writing this right away, but I got distracted. What distracts me most when I'm trying to work on my computer at home are those little icons on top of the browser, you know, the icons of the websites you  favorited. I think to myself , I'll look for a second to see whats going on then I'll come right back to work. Them I look at the clock after what I think has been five minutes and in reality it's been five hours. When I'm offline I get distracted as well. It's harder for me to get distracted when I'm not on the computer because there is less I can do. What I mostly get distracted by are my sisters and pets.
Getting over the distractions and actually starting what I have to can be easy or difficult, it really depends on the day. Most days I can force myself to get the work done and once I get in the zone I'm good. Other days when my attention span isn't up to par I will still get distracted after I start and will have to keep going back to the project. For me it's really a matter of keeping the distractions out of my way while I'm trying to work.

Fear

Fear. Fear is an emotion I don't think I have of until I actually go to do or think of doing something. Growing up I was considered the fearless twin, I would jump off things and just go with the wind. I would do or try anything. But as I've grown up I realized that I have became more caution and gained more fears. These fears range from rational, tangible fears like snakes to being scared of things that I can't control the outcome too. Some of these fears come when I'm in that specific situation, some I'm able to conquer and others just pop up in my brain. These fears that just pop up are ones that mess me up when it comes to my art. They are why I have a pile of unfinished paintings, a million half filled sketchbook. They hold me back from auditions and in some cases being myself. The biggest fears that stop me are messing up what I already have and not being able to go back, being compared to someone else and falling short.
The messing up is a recent fear and I'm not 100% sure where it came from but none the less it's there, It's a hard one too push through but I'm gonna have to if I want to do anything in my life. I have to stop worrying about what could go wrong and just go with it, can always start again.
I'm also scared of being compered to others and falling short, which I know is something that will happen to me no matter what, but it's still a fear. I know exactly where this fear comes from unlike the last one. This one stems from being a twin and always being compared to someone growing up. I know being compared to someone or something else when I put my self out there is inevitable but it's still a scary thought. I want it to be "look at Tristen, she's great" not "look at Tristen, shes great but so and so is better". I know that won't always be the case and I need to get over this fear, it gets in my way and can be considered selfish.
(This us actually helping me to think about this things logically and all the way through)

The Art of Being Artless (chapter 2)

I honestly had a hard time following this chapter, but what I did get from it was Bob Ross. Bob Ross was a television painter and calming person. He had a show viewed by millions that portrayed him painting for 26 minutes. Through statistics the channel learned that only about 3% of the viewers actually painted with Ross. Others were just their because he was calming and zen like. My mom even use to play his show for us when we were babies to calm us down. Being able to have a show that was used for more than one purpose is really cool. While Ross only painted and meant to teach people to paint he help viewers around the relax with his "happy little clouds".

Bonnard's Art

Pierre Bonnard was a french artist, he is most known for his paintings of his wife Marthe in the bath. 

Japonisme (1888)
This is my favorite painting from Bonnard. He uses such basic colors but there is so much going on. It makes me think of the life that I knew he lead which consisted a lot of him at home because Marthe was to paranoid to leave their home. When did he see this happening, Before they were together? When he would sneak out? As a boy? Sadly we wont know. 




The Bath (1925)
This is a painting of Bonnard's formally mentioned wife.  I like this painting not because of the technique or the context but because of what it must have took for him to paint this. As we read Bonnard's wife Marthe  was completely paranoid and had other personal and emotional issues. I can only imagine what kind of convincing it took Bonnard to convince Marthe to let him paint her. I also like that Bonnard always painted her as a young woman but in reality when this painting was created she would have been in her mid-fifties 

The White Cat (1894)
I like how Bonnard took something as common as this cat and made it his own and unusual. It feels realistic but stretched. Plus it's a cat so that's cool. 

A Scene from Bonnard's Life

Bonnard and Matisse are at dinner talking.

BONNARD

It's so great to see you Matisse. We can finally talk face to face instead of in letters.

MATISSE

I know! It's great to see you. How is Marthe?

BONNARD

She is good but her misanthropy is really driving me up the wall. Not being able to talk to anyone is driving me insane.

MATISSE

Hey, You chose her over all those other women.

BONNARD

She was such a joy to paint and was such an interesting person.I didn't want to lose the ability to paint her, some of my best works are because of her.

MATISSE

Then don't complain, this was your doing and if I must admit you aren't the most sane yourself.

BONNARD

Well can you blame me I am and artist, we have to be atleast a little bit crazy after all. Now I must go before Marthe thinks you are trying to steal my tricks.

The Accidental Masterpiece Intro

This week we started to read the book The Accidental Master Piece: On the Art of Life and Vice Versa By Michael Kimmelman, and where did we start at the introduction of course. Within the 7 page introduction we get three stories and a bunch of jibber jabber. Now I enjoyed what I read. I thought it was extremely well written and thought out as well as intelligent. My only problem was that there was a lot crammed onto 7 pages and that made it a little hard to follow with the three different stories going on. Other than that I like the book so far and Kimmelman seems very smart and like he knows what he's doing. He also makes some very good points and phrases. From what I can gather Kimmelman is saying that living life is art itself and doing what you love is a masterpiece. Like collecting light bulbs or falling in love. 

Our Projects

    Today in class we started our independent and group projects. I am in a group with Jess, James and Catherine. Our group project is to shoot and write a short film. Today we worked on what our movie will be about and the logistics of it. When we first sat down to write we decided to use the same format to make this movie as we did for the be kind last year. You essentially work backwards, you start by picking a genre and title then you work your way up. I personally believe that working like this is a lot easier because you come up with more ideas this way. Unlike the be kinds this movie will be edited and shot over a number of days. We are not yet revealing what our movie is about quite yet, so stay tuned to find out.

Forcing

I am working my way past being stuck, its difficult but I'm getting there. I decided that if i push my self hard enough I will eventually get through this block. I've never really been able to doodle but now it has been a little easier, I need to get ride of all the muck in my head it's really starting to clog up.

No Motivation

So this week I have had no motivation to paint or draw. I'll sit down to sketch or work on one of my unfinished paintings and  wont be able to pick up the pencil or brush and if I do nothing comes out. Having no motivation is probably more frustrating than not finishing anything. I come up with and have all these ideas but no motivation to actually create the art and by the time I have the motivation I forget the ideas and have nothing to draw.

Art Life- Blurb

    Tristen Cara is a sixteen year old emerging multi-disciplinary artist. She enjoys both the fine and preforming arts. Though most known for her drawing and painting skills, Tristen also enjoys photography, both film and digital, theater and dance. She has been selected to be in the school art show twice consecutively. Tristen was also featured in her dance studios end of the year showcase for the past three years. Tristen lives with her mother, her two sisters, two cats, two dogs and a turtle. 

     In the fine arts Tristen Cara is best known for her more abstract and expressionist style paintings. Often using a wide pallet of vibrant colors Tristen's art can vary from dark and moody to light and humorous. Her technique is above average and her imagination and understanding of the world in incomparable. Inspired and motivated by her past and personal experiences Tristen's art is extraordinarily her own. Tristen is also skilled in and has experience with photography, theater and dance. She had worked with both digital and film photography and is talented in both. Over the past year Tristen has done many photography projects and shoots for her friends and family.  As for dance she is currently enrolled at American Theater Dance Workshop and has taken ballet, jazz, modern, hip-hop and ballroom classes in the past. Although Tristen is less experienced with theater than those above she has been in a few shows in the past and has been in several short plays and films throughout the year. 

     When faced with a problem pertaining to her craft Tristen does exceptionally well, she handles the situation with grace and a cool head until it is settled. Tristen is a problem solver and can easily work through the problems she faces. Tristen is a talented, determined, well-rounded young artist. With experience with both the fine and preforming arts she is sure to have many opportunities in the future.

Art Life- Advice

The best pieces of  advice I have ever gotten or could ever give would probably be:

"always be Grateful/thankful for what you have, never take anything for granted"

"learn how to say NO"

"be yourself"

"use your emotions, don't bottle them up"

They might be a bit cliche but they are true.

Art Life- Influences

As of right now I am influenced by the people around me and society in general. I like to surround myself with people who have big or different personalities, I like to see how they act around each other. I like seeing how society interacts and if something cool happens I like to take it in and use it in my art.

Art Life- Why?

I do art to express myself, because if I didn't draw or act my brain would explode. All these ideas and pictures build up in my head and I have to get them out somehow. I am lucky that I like art , if I didn't I don’t know what I would do. Without this outlet my life would be completely different, I would probably be a lot more reserved and a  lot less confident.

Oil Painting

This week in STAC the artists have been working with oil pants and for some of us including me this was their first time using this type of paint. Oil paint is different from acrylic because instead of using water to change you use medians such as oil and paint thinner. Besides being made of different things oil is thicker and is more movable that acrylic.
On our first day using the oil paints we were sat down at the long table and painted 3 black all objects, a speaker, a boot and a radio. That day we only used water, paint thinner and the paint. Painting the objects we were given was relatively easy compared to what we will get later, but working with just black paint, paint thinner and water made it difficult to show detail or what the painting was suppose to be.  To make something white or lighter we had to use water and paper towel to move or take off the paint. During this time we were also learning not only how to use oil paint but also learning how to throw things out, so after we finished a painting and wanted to move on to the next one we had to wash the paint of the canvas and use it again.
my paintings day 1:

On the second day we used both white and black paint along with the solvents.  we were given softer objects to paint including a hat, a bag and tongs and a camera lens. These objects although mostly black did need white to be completed correctly.  Painting with both black and white was a lot easier than painting with just one color, it gave us more color options and ranges and mad the paintings more realistic.Adding the white made everything flow smoother and made it easier in general.
my paintings day 2:

On Day 3 (the last day) we were meant to paint with mostly all white and lighter shades of gray. Not only was painting in these light colors was difficult but we had to paint difficult objects as well, lights. The thing that was most difficult about the lighting is that the pieces were shinny and didn't have a clear color for the most part.
my paintings day 3:

But after you get over the initial annoyance of oil paint it is actually fun and easy, dare I say better than acrylic.

Finishing

I am currently going through a period where I cant finish any art piece I start. I will start something the out it down to let the paint dry then just never pick it u again or I get half way through my painting and stop there. It's like I getting blocked or lose my energy or interest in what I am currently trying to focus on. I'm at the point where I cant put anything down because I know that I wont pick it up again. It is honestly getting a little ridiculous and starting to affect my school life as well.  

Google Glass

Now introducing a new way to ignore people, the Google Glass. Google Glass basically a  computer right on your face. It is a small chip placed on a frame similar to that of a pair of glasses with a small screen in front of one of the eyes. Glass can do a lot of cool things like take pictures and video, search the web, show weather and phone notification while being 99% hands free. Now this seems like a great idea but is it really. To me this seems more dangerous and annoying than someone texting and talking or walking/driving. At least while texting you have the ability to focus on other things but with Glass you have to put all your focus on this little screen or you cant see it. This isn't just dangerous, its also nerve racking, if this product is actually used as much as an phone than what will talking to people be like in the future. It wont be like anything, if everyone has this little device attached to their eyes and a another device in their hand  no one would talk to each other anymore and I don't know if I like the idea of everyone ignoring each other in favor of a small cold device. But hey if you want one they will be on sale for one day, April 15th, and they only cost 15 hundred dollars! BE my guest and buy one if you like but we sure as hell wont be telling me about it if you do.

Is Living in a City Better

Does living in a city really affect your life as much as everyone says? Quite frankly the answer to this question is yes, it does. Living in the city gives you a better chance of achieve your goals and gives you more opportunities. Yes, living in the suburbs is nice but if you think about it most people who live there work in the city. Cities are full of opportunities for not just jobs but education and socialization as well. Living in a city is not the ideal place for children but it is a good place to at least be near while raising them. I never lived more than an hour away from New York City and growing up this close to the city has diffidently effected me. I would probably be a completely different person person if I lived somewhere else and I would be a lot comfortable with myself.

Food For Thought: Is Technology Evolving Too Fast?

Human evolution is slowing down or moving really slow but technology evolution is actually speeding up. This time three or four years ago few people had smart phone but now I know two people who don't, even my 74 year old grandma has one. Speaking of smart phones I got the new iPhone earlier this year but now I'm hearing reports of a new one coming out in June and I've barley had this phone for six months. At the rate phones are evolving imagine how enabled they will be in a few years, hell we might not even need computers anymore. Even movie watching has evolved, A few years ago we were watching movies on tapes or crappy DVDs now we have all this blue ray DVD crap or we can even watch them online. The future is coming towards us extremely fast and I'm both excited and nervous too see what technology will bring to us next.

Creative Rut or Artistic Breakthrough

So apparently when you are in a creative rut your actually about to have a breakthrough. If this is true someone tell my brain ASAP! So according to Alan Lightman getting stuck is a great thing, it lets your mind go through all these ideas and think out of the box. I personally don't like being in a creative rut and I find it exhausting and a pain in the ass but according to science it is good to go into a rut, so I guess we should listen to it. Lightman also says that you should work towards your inspiration instead of waiting for it to hit you, now this is something I can vouch for. After hours of working on something and getting no where then you get hit with this rush of ideas and insiration is the best thing.  

Fear

Eleanor Roosevelt once said "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'" this is totally true though, you need to realize that everything will be okay and that you have done harder, scarier things or you might have to do those things in the future. Without realizing the fear and pushing through it you will never get anything done and you will be stuck in your shell forever.

One Act Plays

So for the past two weeks in STAC we were working on one act plays in small groups, 2 actors and a director. The performances were today and I think we did pretty well considering we only had two weeks to work on them and I was sick for almost half of it. Both Darren and I knew our lines and Emily was a great director.Looking back on it I do think we could have been a little less tense and looked at each other a little more. I also learned that you shouldn't worry about messing up a small line and just go with the flow. All in all I liked acting and thought it was a good experience.

Vlogging

So we recently started vlogging for STAC, vlogging is when you film yourself talking for a length of time. Over the past few weeks of vlogging I realized how hard it is to come up with a subject to talk about and how hard it is to not go on a long angry rant. When ever you ask someone what they think the hardest part about vlogging is they say getting in front of the camera but in reality, for me at least, that is the easiest part. Vlogging only starts to get difficult once you are in front of the camera, you start to notice little quirks and habits you have and thinking of different ideas to talk about each week is hard too. But once you get past all of the struggles with vlogging it is actually really fun, almost even therapeutic.
My Vlogs- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCobE1ZYZTx_JJzct8I7zNRA/videos

College, Stop!

So as a junior in high school I am not only suppose to be surviving this dreaded year but also looking at colleges and let me be the first to say WTF! This weekend my mom thought it would be a good idea for my twin sister and I to start looking into to schools that we would like to go to and you think that looking at schools wouldn't be so bad but it is terrible.First of all college is soo expensive, all I want is an education i'm not trying to buy a house! But that's not even the worst part, the worst part is the criticism you get "oh, your looking there" "where i'm looking is so much better" "well i'm looking into Harvard". Shut up! its not a life long commitment its just a school and i'm just looking i'm not selling my soul and I can transfer if I end up not liking it. I also don't understand why we have to start college right after high school, why cant we have a break we have already been in school for 12+ years in a row, I want a break. I know by know your saying "Tristen, why son't you take a gap year?" and the reason I can't do that is because I would never get to college. I would get so excited and travel and go on adventures, I would get lost and never go back to school. That's great for some people but I actually want to go to college. But you know what looks good right now, becoming a hermit and living in my sisters basement.

Series Finale Disaster (SPOILERS)

This week I encountered one of the worst series finales I have ever seen, the How I Met Your Mother finale. After nine seasons on air the series came to a close in a one hour episode, the only one in the series actually. *spoilers start now* So after nine seasons you think that there is going to be this amazing finale where Ted meets his wife and they get married and everyone lives happily ever after, well if you think that you are wrong. Yes Ted meets his wife (Tracy) but that is one of the only good things that happened in this "spectacular". First off they give us to much information at once and the episode is too skippy, we cover 15 years in one episode and it just jumps from one thing to the other, it was so hard to follow and was just too much. Second they tear down 10 years of character development in five minutes, you cant do that, Barney has come so far and gave up almost everything to get Robin and that is gone in the matter of minutes, first they tear down their marriage that they spent the whole last season at their wedding then they just convert Barney back into how he was during season one, that's not fair to use or the character, then he is rebuilt in a second when his daughter is born from a random woman who we hear nothing about later on but that's a whole another issue, even though he is built back up he isn't the same as he was before. And my last major problem with this episode is how they used the Mother. Tracy was a lovely character and she was perfect for Ted, but then they just killed her off with no explanation. Then at the very end of the episode Ted goes running back to a now divorced single Robin, that's where the episode ended. NO! This was How I Met YOUR MOTHER not how I met your aunt Robin and is it okay that I date her again, they should not of ended it that was especially after they spent a whole episode showing Ted letting go of Robin. This whole episode was just a mess, yes there were some good and funny moments but there was just to much crap going on to focus in just the good. I can honestly say I expected more from this episode and the writers and i think they could of done better.