Fear

Fear. Fear is an emotion I don't think I have of until I actually go to do or think of doing something. Growing up I was considered the fearless twin, I would jump off things and just go with the wind. I would do or try anything. But as I've grown up I realized that I have became more caution and gained more fears. These fears range from rational, tangible fears like snakes to being scared of things that I can't control the outcome too. Some of these fears come when I'm in that specific situation, some I'm able to conquer and others just pop up in my brain. These fears that just pop up are ones that mess me up when it comes to my art. They are why I have a pile of unfinished paintings, a million half filled sketchbook. They hold me back from auditions and in some cases being myself. The biggest fears that stop me are messing up what I already have and not being able to go back, being compared to someone else and falling short.
The messing up is a recent fear and I'm not 100% sure where it came from but none the less it's there, It's a hard one too push through but I'm gonna have to if I want to do anything in my life. I have to stop worrying about what could go wrong and just go with it, can always start again.
I'm also scared of being compered to others and falling short, which I know is something that will happen to me no matter what, but it's still a fear. I know exactly where this fear comes from unlike the last one. This one stems from being a twin and always being compared to someone growing up. I know being compared to someone or something else when I put my self out there is inevitable but it's still a scary thought. I want it to be "look at Tristen, she's great" not "look at Tristen, shes great but so and so is better". I know that won't always be the case and I need to get over this fear, it gets in my way and can be considered selfish.
(This us actually helping me to think about this things logically and all the way through)